Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary. We’ve been a couple for seventeen years. Almost a third of my life…Before Dan the longest relationship(s) I had been in lasted no more than two years, and ours is in many way the most challenged. The divorce statistics for couples with special needs children are pretty daunting. Something like 80% to the national average of 45%. I’d say we’re doing pretty damn fine!
The past fifteen years have not always been easy and there have admittedly been times when it felt like the best thing to do would be to throw in the towel but the love has always been there, even when we haven’t liked each other very much.
I’m a handful. I admit it. I can be very hard on someone who disappoints or angers me. I also have a tendency to lash out and be hurtful, especially with my husband who is the unfortunate recipient of my foulness no matter who or what the cause. He has the pleasure and sorrow of being the one closest to me, and the one who is around me the most.
The pay off is that I’m more often sunny and pleasant. He actually thinks I’m funny and tolerates my singing, which even my son refuses. We’ve had to endure a lot of stresses over the years, most notably the birth of our beautiful boy, our attempts to navigate the world of special needs parenting, and everyone’s favorite, finances. But we’ve managed to come together more often than not and work well together. Our strengths compliment one another making us a force to be reckoned with. Our journey has been unexpected and bumpy but always with an underlying current of love running through it.
We plan to celebrate rather simply because it’s a hectic time workwise for both of us and a Wednesday (not as fun to do late night celebrating on a weekday!), but, because it’s a rarity, the idea of sitting across a restaurant table from my husband, sharing wine and nibbles is heaven.
Rather than one single grand gift, I decided to go with the 15 theme…Fifteen assorted prezzies! They range from a CD with 15 songs that remind me of him to a bag of what he claims is the best coffee he’s ever had (James Coffee Co.) to a Replacements t-shirt (we saw them the other night and he commented that he realized he didn’t have one of their T-shirts despite them being one of his faves) to 15 photos from our wedding that I created an album for to a chocolate croissant (his favorite) from a great bakery near my office to start the day on a sweet note. The process of coming up with the ideas and the different fifteens (like the songs, pictures and things I love about you list) really put me in a frame of mind of recognizing how blessed we are and of how much I love him.
Nothing crazy, but hopefully things that say “I listen, and I hear you”…Here’s to the next fifteen, Darling. I can’t wait to see what is yet to unfold!
I love your brain 