Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

MOTHER’S TALK
May 9, 2015

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday and I’m looking forward to a relaxing weekend with Cole. My husband has gone to Hawaii to spend the weekend with him own mum so Cole and I are on our own. It’s been that way for most Mother’s Day as my husband used to attend the Cannes Film Festival and was always in France come Mother’s Day. I’m not bothered by it since Cole is who makes me a mom.

We’re looking forward to a really relaxing weekend together. The weekend starts a little earlier than usual since I’m on pickup duty. Cole and I are planning to hang out with my mom tomorrow. He needs new eyeglasses and is keen to have her help him decide on a pair, and then we’ll probably lunch. He wants to spend the afternoon just kicking back at home. Sunday he’s taking me to a matinee of the Ultron Avengers movie…and then we’re meeting up with extended family for dinner. A weekend of fun, and nothing. Perfect.

I spent last weekend in La Quinta with four other moms. Our second moms get-a-way. A few years ago a few of us went to New York to support one of the tribe who spent the summer acting in a play, and then this desert weekend, where we intended to do this and that but actually ended up mostly finding ourselves engrossed in conversation, after conversation…oh, and some nice meals and vino. It was a perfect segue way into this Mom’s day weekend.

I’m blessed to have a tribe of women who I can get lost in conversation with and find myself standing taller afterward. I find myself in awe of so many amazing moms I know. We all share the goals of providing our children with the best tools we can. We share the hope that our kids will be kind, strong, generous, bright, respectful, interested and interesting. We foster independence, self-reliance, and self-respect in our children. We love unconditionally, challenge, and support our kids whole-heartedly. We have ready hugs when needed, and are learning when to give space. We share our trials and tribulations and successes with the hope of being inspired, supported or educated by one another. As I said earlier, I am blessed!

photo-2 1149013_10201742605916075_2092457149_n Me & My Mom (1969)

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Here’s to all of the amazing moms, mine included, in my life. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

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SNOW (Hey Oh)
March 12, 2015

Our annual pilgrimage to Mammoth Mountain begins today with a five-hour road trip up to the Eastern Sierras. The excitement has been mounting all week and no one is more excited than Cole. He loves vacations like this where the day is filled with a defined activity – skiing all day in this case and ends with a group evening – dinner for 24 each night qualifies! Six families coming together for a weekend of snow fun!

We’re stocked up with lots of different playlists on Spotify and a pile of programming he can watch on the DVD player in the van, which will leave him pretty content during the whole drive. Cole does really well on long drives when we prepare well! The nice thing about having him enjoying a movie or favorite show is that it gives my husband and I a chance to chat uninterrupted or censored for hours – a rarity in our daily lives.

My husband is barbeque obsessed (he spent two summers perfecting his rub and baby back ribs and is now focusing on perfecting Texas style brisket) and my mom, ever supportive of his passion, forwarded a blurb about a great barbeque joint that’s on the way to Mammoth so he’s already planning our lunch. I’m hoping we can rope one or two of the other families driving up to meet us. Road trips are definitely more fun when you bump into familiar faces!

Cole is beyond excited to ski again. This will be his third year skiing with Disabled Sports Eastern Sierra (DSES), a volunteer based sports program that accommodates needs of all kinds. We’ve been inspired by there program where blind skiers are able to confidently zoom down the mountain and kids like Cole joyfully bounce over moguls in their bucket skis. It’s amazing.

The evenings are casual but festive with all of the families dining together. It’s a great end to the day and the mood is always high. It’s not hard to understand why Cole loves this kind of vacation…

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(Last year’s gaggle of happy kids)

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YELLOW
January 21, 2015

When asked to describe my son on paper, he sounds pretty dire.

I just completed the required registration forms for his March ski adventure and had this realization. Most often, I think of him in terms of all that he does, all that he is. Inherently, I know he’s in a wheelchair, can only walk with support of an adult or equipment, requires special seating to keep him supported, is fed through a g-tube, and doesn’t speak.

These things are obvious but they’re never how I see him.

I like to tell him he’s my “yellow”. We both love that Coldplay song and while yellow is not a color I adore, in the context of the song, it’s a color I attribute to my boy. The stars do shine for him.

When I think of him I think of funny things he shares with me or of him skiing down a mountain, laughing or of him getting mischievous with my mom when we’re running weekend errands together. He’s just a boy like any other. Unique and perfect just as he is…

It feels strange to leave the description as simple as the diagnosis and challenges without adding all of the adjectives that I attribute to him when I speak of him or imagine him in my mind. He’s funny, smart, brave, and friendly.

He welcomes everyone into his inner circle and makes one feel content to be around him. He loves to dance, and goof around, and to make people laugh. He likes adventure and sports and isn’t afraid of doing things differently. His smile lights up rooms and his laugh can melt ice.

He’s so much more than anything I can describe on paper or with words.

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IN MY LIFE
January 20, 2015

My husband’s oldest and dearest friend has been in town visiting from Baltimore during this past long weekend. He’s an educator and is coming to visit our amazing charter school, CHIME Community School. The charter at our school is inclusion and he’s interested to see if there are practices that he can bring back to his school. So we’ve been lucky to have the long weekend to hang out with him and more than anything, Cole and I have had the fun of seeing the two of them together.

Being blessed with some friendships that have thrived for over forty years now, I completely appreciate the bond that comes with growing up with someone and continuing to love them decades later. My husband moved a bit when he was young, and even as an adult, but has maintained a close, tight bond with his friend. They met when they were 11 years old and are now both 43. There’s something so dear in watching the two of them together. Time and spatial distance don’t seem to matter. Seeing them, relaxed, chatting and laughing together warms my heart.

Friendships like theirs are to be treasured and I know how deeply my husband values their bond. I wish they lived closer to one another because the effect of them spending time together is better than a spa weekend. There’s a joyful light in my husband’s eyes and he seems renewed. I feel like that when I’ve had some “old friend time” too, so I recognize the delight.

It makes me happy to see, and Cole seems to find it equally delightful. He’s completely taken with the two of them. He happily spent the afternoon wandering around Santa Monica with the guys, and still couldn’t get enough of the two of them. I hope that he has the fortune to have a dear, old friend or two or three when he gets older…there’s nothing quite so special.

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