MOVING OUT (Billy Joel)
July 17, 2026

It’s official. Escrow closed on our beloved home of the past 30 years, and we now have the keys to our rental home where we will spend at least the next two years. I’m still feeling more excited about the possibilities of living differently in this next chapter and the accessibility this new house will provide for Cole. Nothing is more important to me than him having the space and supports to better access the whole house, and particularly to be able to shower safely.

Cole has seen the house on a quick drive-by but Saturday I’ll take him inside. I’m not sure he’ll be able to envision the space with our furniture and set up as “home” but I think he needs to see it to be able to start to envision himself there. He’s only known this house and despite the excitement he has expressed about moving, it’s not something he’s experienced. He has close friends who moved house a few years ago so I know he understands it but it’s hard to know if he has any particular attachment to this house.

I’ve been trying to get him invested and involved in terms of what his new space will look and feel like. We’re upgrading his bed from a twin to a full which means updating his bedding and the frame. He’s excited about that and chose a colorful bedspread with navy sheets and a wood frame (as opposed to upholstered) for his adjustable bed. It’s all a bit more grown up than his current set up and more colorful. He’s got a lot of art and wants to be in charge of where things will go and which pieces might not make the cut. The Basquiat “Monkey Butt” stuffy stays!

The big purge and pack process begins now too. We’ll take early all of our furniture but I’m determined to lighten the weight of the “stuff”. How many vases, knick knacks, serving platters does one really need? I have a huge storage box outside filled with our outdoor entertaining dishes and tableware – I need to scale it down. I want to scale it down. I’ve traveled with my parents old Hellerware since the 80’s and it will continue to follow me to the new place but a lot of the other stuff can go. I realize we (mostly I) have to be fierce about the purging – if it’s not an immediate, visceral, YES, it goes. Same with closets and housewares.

This move represents freedom for us in many ways. Most importantly for Cole who will have the freedom to access so much more of our home, with greater ease and safety. Despite the decades I’ve spent in this house, either visiting my grandparents, or living here, unexpectedly, I’m feeling more lifted by leaving it than I thought I would. I have so many wonderful memories tied to it that I’ll carry with me wherever I go (thankfully memories don’t take up literal space) and I know we’ll be creating even more memories in our new space…For today, we pack and purge!

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OUR HOUSE (Madness)
July 10, 2026

The move is official. We’ve found a place to land and escrow closed on our house. We have until early September to pickup thirty odd years of life at our beloved house – our home. We brought our son home to this house almost twenty-five years ago. We had our first kiss at this house almost thirty years ago. We’ve built a life in this house and compiled endless memories at this house.

It will be hard to say farewell, actually goodbye since the reality of a two bedroom, one bath house having life as such in 2026 is dire. The house will be knocked down and turned into a two-story massive structure. It might be tasteful as some that have been built on our street. It will certainly use up every available inch of space. We hope they’ll keep our pool. We added the pool almost ten years ago for Cole to have regular access to swimming. It’s the lone activity that allows his body to experience free movement and it’s become such a lovely family time for the three of us to sink into the warmth of the water and sun on weekends, floating and dancing to our various “swim” playlists. (Happily, this will continue in our rental as it too has a pool).

Now that it’s official, we have the daunting task of packing up our lives. My approach is going to be as unsentimental as humanly possible. We’ve amassed a lifetime of things, both needed and not. I see it as an opportunity to lighten our lives. We can travel a bit more thoughtfully as we journey into this next chapter. We’ve realized we have some pieces of furniture that have lived in our garage for decades that can be now repurposed and perhaps refurbished, rather than making big purchases to fill space and need. It feels comforting to take familiar, loved things into our rental house but also exciting to see how they can be set up in different ways to fill the new rooms.

The wannabe interior designed in me is beyond motivated to create a home for us that feels like us in a space that wasn’t initially designed or created by us. It’s a little strange to move into someone else’s “bones”, bones to be fleshed out by our collection of life.

Today we have a chance to get back inside for an hour to take measurements and take more specific note of all of the rooms and assets and needs. I tossed and turned all night – nerves and excitement wrestling in my brain. I had strange dreams about sunken rooms that Cole could not access and other people’s things in closets and on walls. Nerves and excitement wrestling in my brain…

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The Waiting (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
July 5, 2026

We’ve now toured six potential rental homes, applied for two, been rejected for one, and are now waiting for news about the other. Having lived in the same house for thirty-five years (I lived here before Dan and I bought it), I’ve not played the waiting game before and it’s excruciating. You want to plan and imagine yourself in a space. You want to figure out what will go where. You want to figure out how each room will be used.

The house we are waiting on right now is twice the size of our current home – a post war 1,148 square foot house with two bedrooms and one bath – yes three of us have shared a tiny single bathroom for almost three decades. The house we hope to move into is five bedrooms and three baths -what the hell will we do with three baths!?! It’s got an open floor plan with a beautiful kitchen and pantry and a proper dining room and five bedrooms. It would allow us to set up a proper office for Dan who has worked exclusively from home since Covid, designate a gym space, have a dedicated guest room and bathroom for anyone who wants to come visit, or an aging parent in need. It also has a pool, a pretty view and there are great hiking trails just up the hill. Plus, we have good friends in the area and it’s closer to a lot of Cole’s activities. So we wait, as patiently as we possibly can…

Everything about this experience of contemplating moving house, selling our current home, and searching for the right house has been kind of fun. There’s of course stress mixed in because moving is one of the most stressful transitions in life, along with divorce, death of a loved one, job loss and long-term illness. I’d argue that at least with moving and eventually divorce, there exist great upsides too.

I’ve stressed to both Dan and Cole that I hope to live differently in the new space. I want us all to find new ways to use the space and surroundings to inspire us to find new habits and routines. I can’t say what the specific changes will be but I feel determined not to fall back on current habits. I know I need to be more active and exploring my new neighborhood (on foot) will be a great way to get moving more, perhaps with Jude the Cavapoo in tow. I would very much like to encourage Cole to join us in the family living space – for years he’s had no interest in being anywhere but in his bedroom, watching YouTube, without us around. I’m hoping we can break this cycle and introduce movies nights or little kitchen dance parties to get him back into wanting to hang out with us a little more. Fingers crossed…

I love that we can have houseguest, who can finally feel like they have a little privacy in our space. Our guest room currently is the den, Dan’s office, and the guest space. There are no doors on the room, so we hang curtains in the doorways for privacy and we all share the tiny single bathroom. It’s never been ideal but it’s the best we had. It will feel so wonderful to welcome friends or family to stay with us in a house that has actual space and room for guests.

I can dream all day if I want to but for now it’s just waiting and as we all well know, the waiting is the hardest part…

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This Must Be the Place (Talking Heads)
July 1, 2026

So it’s been years since I wrote anything here but we’ve sold our home of nearly 30 years (actually longer for me because I lived there before I met Dan) and we’re embarking on a new adventure. Much as we love our home and especially the gorgeous backyard we created about ten years ago, complete with a pool and outdoor kitchen, it just doesn’t serve Cole well and we need to do something different. We’re opting to rent for a couple of years, maybe more, until we better know where Cole will land when he’s ready for a group home situation, so the hunt is on for a bigger, more open space, pool, and decent sized bathrooms with tub or walk-in showers that can accommodate his bathchair.

Yesterday we had a chance to look at four houses. A couple were very high on our preference list and seemed to check off most boxes. There is one house in particular that we LOVE. And it lived up to every expectation. We’ve submitted an application and are hoping that despite our credit not being stellar, our income is significant and we believe we’ll be pretty fucking great tenants. We like our spaces to be warm, clean, stylish and well cared for. We’d bring the same to a rental. We’re on pins and needles waiting for everything to get reviewed and to know if this is the place.

As you can imagine, this is a really big deal for us. The house we are leaving was my grandparents house. My mom grew up in Cole’s room. I spent my whole life visiting or living in this house. It’s special and beautiful. It’s just too damn small (only 1,158 square feet with two bedrooms and one tiny bath). The backyard transformation gave us a lot more living space since you can be outside in Southern California nearly year round. It’s the only home Cole has known in his almost twenty-five years and we’ve build so many memories and traditions with our extended family and friends over the years.

Strangely, I don’t feel as sad about leaving as I thought I might. I’m sure it will come in waves as we pour through all of our stuff and pack up but I feel more thrill about setting up a new space, a new home, even if it’s not exactly our home. The notion of really culling our take-along furniture, clothes, and stuff feels liberating and having a chance to introduce beloved things into a new space, in different configurations with art shifting from familiar companions to create new inspiration. The idea of having more space to store things, and to feature treasures delights me.

I can’t wait to welcome loved ones to share space with us when we land…

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