WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

I had this flash of anger this morning that quickly turned to sadness. I pulled up behind a car with a license frame that said “The Best Moms Get Promoted to Grandmas”.

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Seems innocent enough but it smacked me in the face. Another reminder of what might have been in my parenting experience.

I don’t generally feel sorry for myself or for the lost parenting experiences I have because I am the mom of a (often whispered) special needs child. From day one my parenting experience has been unique and different from what I had imagined becoming a mom would be like.

Let me be clear, being Cole’s mom is the singularly most amazing experience I’ve ever had, but it’s not without bouts of mourning some of the milestones and joys that typical families celebrate. I’m human.  The moments of sorrow are fleeting and run the gambit.

I could run through the list but it would bore you, or give you cause to pity me and there’s nothing I like less than boredom or pity. The fact is there exists a long list of the joys and successes that fill my heart. They too are unique and different from what I had imagined but every bit as relished.

Becoming a grandmother is one that I hadn’t thought much about since I’m way too young to be a grandmother! HA. I just hadn’t ever registered that I won’t become a grandmother.   Seeing that license plate frame pissed me off, and then I was stuck behind it as I crawled the miles through the canyon to work. It just kind of sucked.  I’m a best mom…and shall remain so until the end…

Happy Monday to me.  Just needed to vent…

 

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