I love your brain

I have a confession to make. I can’t seem to get my son to sleep in his own bed. He’s done it successfully for long bouts of time throughout his twelve years but he’s once again managed to wrangle the coveted spot next to me and seems determined to stay there. Despite his considerable desire for independence in other aspects of his life, this comfort is one he refuses to give up. At least without a big fight…

I don’t have the bandwidth to fight it. I chose my battles as wisely as I can and I know this is one where if he digs his feet in deep enough, I’ll lose. I know somewhere in my mind that he’ll grow out of it again too. I know he wants to be near me because my work hours are such that he sees very little of me during the week, and he misses it. I miss it too which may contribute to why I’m not fighting this right now.

We talk about it often and he looks at me with amusement when I tell him that soon he’ll be moving back to his room. He looks admiringly around his room, which was recently redone for him so that ‘s a bit more grown up and very tranquil. He likes his room. Just not sleeping there. Perhaps just not sleeping there without me.

I’m honestly not sure what comfort he gains from sleeping with me. Most nights he sleeps peacefully through the night and wakes for a quick morning cuddle, something we used to do his in room when I’d come wake him up in the mornings. Those nights where he’s restless or sleepless, I’m up with him, but that too happens wherever he’s sleeping.

Part of me wonders if it’s simply that he’s got my attention if we’re together, alone, and he’ll take it however it comes, which makes me a little sad.