I love your brain

I’ve been solo parenting for a week now with a few more days to go while my husband is in Santiago on business. After the strange summer we had, all being on top of one another for a full two months, and the quick fire return to our work/school routine, I found myself kind of looking forward to having a little Cole/mom time.

Historically, when my husband travels, which is fairly consistent throughout the year, Cole and I have a pretty easy time. I’m not keen on the driving aspect of it (I’m driving him to school and myself to work – a minimum of 2 hours in the car each morning and then the same at the end of the day!) but love being the one to bring him home from school, go through his day and backpack, run through school and homework with him, and finally have some hangout time together. I usually miss this part of his routine because I get home from work two hours after my husband gets Cole home from school.

The past days have been much harder than I anticipated. The fact that Cole is still so utterly emotionally fragile following the surgery and summer makes everything harder. He’s less inclined to even attempt communicating and collapses upon arrival home.

Friday, the first day of our solo time, he cried for nearly an hour and I was never successful at finding out what was wrong. Even during the weekend, he was clingy and anxious, but I did eventually learn, after many conversations, that one of the reasons he has a hard time when he gets home from his school day (8am-5pm), is that he during the day at school, with his friends and teachers, he makes every effort to not let anyone see that he’s in pain or uncomfortable. He puts on a smile and works his way through the school day seemingly fine. So when he gets home, all of that held back anxiety, pain, and energy just spills out, uncontrollably.

Monday I learned another reason. Prior to the surgery, he spent a good part of his day on his feet in a gait trainer, either walking or just standing, bearing weight. Now he’s spending the entire day in his wheelchair and his body is stiff and sore when he gets home and is moved to his chill out chair or to a bed to sit on. Because he seems to find relief or comfort from wearing the knee immobilizers at night, I suggested we try putting them on right when he gets home to see if that helped with the transition. Voila! Mom’s a genius.

We’ve now had two nearly tear free, whine free post school evenings and I’m looking forward to a third tonight. Even more so, I’m looking forward to taking him to physical therapy this afternoon. He’s been doing it for a few weeks now as prescribed by his surgeon and I haven’t been able to attend. I took him to the eye doctor Tuesday afternoon, which also felt like a treat.

We have a winner! The new glasses…

Doctors appointments and therapies used to be my arena before I started working full time, and before my husband started working five minutes from Cole’s school. I miss the connection with Cole and his doctors and therapists.

I’m glad to have the chance to support him this week.  Even when it’s hard, I treasure my one on one time with Cole. It gives us a chance to reconnect and share the simple and not so simple every day moments that when woven together bond us.