I love your brain

I’ve not managed to write quite as frequently as I had hoped, yet. I need to make it a habit again.

I just learned that a piece I wrote was selected to be part of a staged reading program, where I’ll be on stage reading it to an audience. The thought of standing on a stage, reading to an audience terrifies me. My voice typically raises several octaves under pressure or nerves. I also tend to speak faster. It will take practice and concerted effort to maintain a level, reasonable pattern of speech to pull this off!

Strangely, in my early twenties, I became a licensed cosmetology instructor. I got my regular license just after high school, having attended beauty school at night during high school. My family had a chain of beauty schools throughout Los Angeles and I used to tell my punk rock friends that I could cut hair simply by connection because I could practice cutting without worry of ruining someone’s hair, which led my dad enrolling me in beauty school. I did salon work and some platform demonstrations at hair shows and eventually got my teaching license.

My first day of teaching was hell. I walked into a room of people, most of whom were older than I was, all of whom could smell my fear…I squeaked out an introduction and Minnie Moused my way through the first hour of talk. I wanted to cry. Public speaking was never something I felt comfortable with. I eventually got to the demonstration part of my class and as I got into sharing the details of how to do the cut I was demoing, I relaxed and my voice evened out and I actually sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I realized that I just needed to trust my experience and expertise and let that guide me through the class.

I haven’t done much public speaking since then. I’ve been on a few panels within my current industry (international film distribution) over the years and again survived simply because I knew my content and my audience. I’m going to have to rely on this understanding for the staged reading. The story is personal and fraught but also very much removed from the woman I am today, over forty years after it takes place. I have Dan and some friends coming so the audience will be friendly and supportive and if my voice cracks or squeaks they’ll love me anyways.

Here’s to facing our fears…To new experiences…to pushing out of our comfort zone!